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Grief is not depression

Grief is not depression.

Grief

still mostly brushes its teeth

still showers

but lets its tears run

with the water.

 

Grief

still sees beauty in the sun,

more than that,

finds comfort

lets the warmth hold it like a small child

fragile and tender

as fuck.

 

Grief is not depression.

It knows joy

sometimes,

finds itself laughing

in the way a baby laughs:

delighted and surprised at its own being

and for a moment

Grief

forgets itself

and is only living.

 

Grief is not depression.

It’s a dance

between the ripped-off-plaster present

and memories of something that was once

real and is now not here.

Grief is friends with anxiety

it knows with a jolt

that something is just not how

it used to be

and won’t be again.

 

Grief is not depression.

It sometimes seeks connection

with others

looking for protection

in the shared knowing

of what it means

to lose.

But sometimes

it needs to be alone -

Grief sometimes gets confused

about when to go out

and when to stay at home.  

 

Grief is not depression.

Grief

can still remember to wash its face

though it is hard.

There is a shell-less quality

to heartbreak:

a feeling like a small piece

of grit stuck to the skin

could be the thing

that kills it.

 

Grief is not depression.

It knows there is a point to keeping going

though it sometimes

seems vague,

a phantom in the mist,

and it seems to know

that all the untethered love

will surely transform

into something good

if given the space

maybe Humility,

maybe Grace

​

so, get up Grief and wash your face

and remember

you are not depression.

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